So....

My plane, on Sunday, was delayed on my return from Las Vegas to Sacramento. About 4 hours delayed. So, I sat at the airport, read books, write some letters and worried that poor Phillip (who was supposed to pick me up from the airport in Sacramento) would be just sitting at the baggage claim for hours! Finally, my plane leaves! (yay!) and I end up sitting next to this guy who's a little too friendly, needless to say, I'm overly excited when my plane finally lands, I can get off and go find Phillip... who had indeed been waiting around for me. It's about 4 now.. and before heading off to camp, Phillip needed to run some erands, and we had dinner. We left at approxomitely 6 o'clock pm and poor Phillip was already tired, so I promised to talk to him and keep him awake as we drove for the next 4 hours back up to camp. We were having the most amazing conversation as we drove... Then we stopped for a bathroom break and ended up making soem kind of a wrong turn on the way out of town... about 45 minutes later, we realized that we didn't know where we were and his compass said we were going east instead of South. So, we pulled over a bit later at a gas station to find out we were in Sonora... which was very much out of our way.. but the good news was we could still get to Oakhurst without back tracking! (the people at the gas station were really cool and very helpful.. praise Jesus for them!) So, we find our way to this different highway (the 49) which the man at the gas station called "car sick road." which really ended up being nothing more than a crazy, curvy, dark road on the very edge of a steep cliff. Maybe half way along the highway Phillip says that he's really tired and needs to sleep or he'll fall asleep at the wheel. And me, not wanting to drive the scary, dark, cruvy road we pulled over for the night. We moved all the stuff from the back seat of the car up to the front, took out the back seat and made ourselves a sleeping area. It was super cold and a bit stormy... but Phillip had a sleeping bag (which he gave me, gentleman that he is) and I had my down throw and a small quilt from Christmas (which Phillip used) At one point in the night it rained and maybe a total of 6 cars passed us all night ... we left after reorganizing the van again about 8:30 and started off on our way to camp. We were determined to reach camp by 10 and it was about 9:50 when we hit Calvin Crest road... It was super icy and we drove slowly until we found ourselves behind the US Foods truck (a semi)... it had slipped on the icy and was now stuck on the middle of a hill. 2 hours, 2 broken chains and several calls up to the office later we made our way back up the hill! (yay!) The first thing we did was stop into the office to check our mail... where we found out our parents had realized we'd never made it back to camp the night before, were freaking out, crying and had called 5 highway patrols in the 5 counties we were supposed to have passed through! Everyone was relieved to have us back safely and life was good... an hour later, we started work and about 3 it started snowing on us... 10-15 more inches of snow... which, for me, meant much shoveling of snow that day. College conference has begun and I love that there are so many summer staff people up right now! (especially my Kari Maddox.. yay Kari!)

Today, I worked from 11-7:30... at about 10:30 this morning, Kari and I went for a walk down to the lake... knowing it was frozen over we decided to take a walk on the ice! :) She walkedout and made a comment about how she was feeling more Christ-like every moment when I exclaimed that I too wanted to be more like Christ... I stepped out on the other side of the dock... when the ice broke and my foot sank about knee deep in.. I screamed as I ended up seated in the snow of the dock, "Kari Maddox, help me!" she rushed over and we pulled me out of the water! I went up to the Ranch house ot change before work. Work was mostly tedious stuff but Kari was with me for some of it and it was fun talking to her.. At this point I'm super tired (though not as tired as last night) and I think I'm going to go work on the scarf I'm making for Jean.

Its good to be back... I missed everyone!

Tonight is possibly the first night in my life that I have ever seen Marriage in a realistic view. As what could be a rather non-romantic, tiresome, lacking physically leaving (if any) a broken or dull conversation. Nothing new was portrayed to me.. I did not experience a marriage fall apart... no couple was the example that caused this new thought, Only it has come to me with the will and grace of God. Something I had deeply hoped would come. For though I have always figured marriage as this perfect romantic, always happy thing, it is not. It seems that I am too often floating through life only looking for a husband, a companion, a close friend. But is that all life's about? Finding a man, marrying him, then the movie's over... the story ends and we can all go home with warm-fuzzies in our stomache. The media tells us that's all there is in life... they do not show children coming into a picture... they show only the lust and the physical things and when ti comes to something deeper the scene is scratched off the drawing board. As a Christian, I know there is much much more to life and it is good that in this moment I have my first realistic view of marriage (though don't get me wrong, I also know there can be very good, wonderful blessed times in marriage as well).

I like that each time I come home I findsomething that I can practice (or decide on) up at Common Fire so that when I come home or move on from the mountain I can truely be changed. The last time I was home it was a combination of flirtatiousness (which I could ignore no longer) mixed with forgiveness... forgivness of myself and of those around me. This time it is my spiritual life. I act out Christianity more than I am real to it. My paryer life is far more improved than ever before.. but my lack of reading the Bible is what seems to kill me while I'm home and while I'm up at camp, too. There are so many Christians and so much learning that at times it seems silly that I should be reading and teaching myself... but that thought in itself is foolish and I deeply know it. I need to read the Bible more... much more.

I haven't finished my summer staff application yet... Juana will scold me.

Well, going to lunch with two old highschool friends was fun. It was interesting seeing which ways we'd gone, how we'd changed (or not changed, as the case may be) and how the similarities in our lives were still very different. Though while they seemed to dwell on the past... I found it amazing that they still held grudges against people for things not even done to them.. how long will they hold these grudges? One of the people I was with, for instance, was mad at one of our other friends because of soemthing that had been done to me... Okay, that's fine if you're mad for a ay.. maybe a week... but 7 months and going? holding a grudge that had nothing at all to do with you... He was actually surprised that I still talked to the boy... and I was surprised that he still didn't... So is that "just life" or is it just people being stupid. I pray that any grudges I'm holding against people (whether I know about them or not) that the Lord will reveal those to me so that I can be free of such silly feelings... and I pray the same for people who might have grdudges against me... May they find it in their hearts to forgive me for my wrongs. "Forgives us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

Tonight the phone rang. I picked it up and was pleasantly surprised to hear my adopted grandfather, Jean's voice on the other end! I have talked to him only once before and that was over 4 years ago. Otherwise, I have never met him. The letters he sends me make me want to cry.. and often I do. Letters of how much he loves me (a girl he's never seen and never met) How much he worries about me and wants me to be happy... Of how much pain he is in. It was the first time I was able to ask him questions and find out answers to. In each letter he inserts money... anywhere from 100-20 dollars per letter. Why such kindness to a girl he's never met? Why such generosity and love and admiration? Questions I ask myself through the tears as I read his short notes over and over. I deeply enjoyed speaking with him this evening... it was the perfect Christmas present, in all honesty. I would rather get a phone call from him than ever recieve money. I would rather meet this sweet angel who loves me than inherit his estate as he hinted to my Mom that I would. Oh, even his call made tears come to my eyes... when he told me of the surgery he's had done and having done.. and the pain and the blindness... my heart broke. I can offer him nothing in return for his generosity. Nothing except for friendship. This sweet, 83 year old man, on a ranch, spending Christmas alone tells me a name and says that I must remember than name because someday soon I might get a call from them telling me of Jean's passing... and that this man would be the one who would help me with the arrangments. ME with the arrangments! What can I offer this man? (I could make a scarf, but that hardly says as much as I desire to say) What have I offered him so far? I've written a few letters... I shared with him pieces of my life and my heart... Do you know the reason he called me tonight? Because he wrote me a letter at Thanksgiving and I haven't written him back. He thought something had happened to me! He was worried over my slowness of writting back and wanted to call to make sure I was well.... That is true kindness. I will write him more frequently.

Jesus, I want to show that kind of kindness. I want to be that generous, that compassionate, that kind and caring. But not just to people I love, to everyone. At church tonight I saw an old man. A man that I never knew his name but he is always so excited to see me and he just seemed delighted that I was there. He waved to me across the sanctuary and I made my way quickly to him, stopping the conversation with other youth as I excused myself to go to him. I hugged him and he asked how I was and what I was doing. As I looked into his joyful, elderly face I knew that was the look that my Jean would have had while on the phone, earlier in the evening. I love that Jean cares so much for my safety and for my well being. I hope I will always be able to stop and ask people how they are and actually hear their answer instead of just passing by or changing the conversation to a topic of my preference. Jesus, be with Jean durring his holiday season as he is alone, has little to no family and is in such deep pain.

I have found myself in an odd place. A place between worlds. Two very different worlds full of very different people and very different things. There is a song from Into The Woods called "Giants in the sky" In this song the singer says, "And I think of all of the things I've seen and I wish that I could live in between, but I'm back again only different than before." That seems like the place I am at... There are good things about each world and though I wish I could live in between at times I know that my place is on that beautiful mountain with my family of brothers and sisters in Christ... why would I want to leave that place? But I must and it gives me such great time for reflection...In a poem by Cynthia grey she states, "I looked out beyond the shore, there my world gazed back at me, grander than before." Its true in life! If we do step back and look farther into our lifes.. past the angry words, busy streets and bitter thoughts.. past the laughter and the tears and the smiles... isn't your world so much grander? Isn't it so much larger... full of so much more possibility? Doesn't your life go deeper than you'd ever dreamed it could! Mine does... and I can't wait to explore it more!

This is interesting... I was in a line today and this woman.. maybe 5 years older than me started asking me about my life and what I was going to do in the future and such.. complete stranger.. so I induldged her, besides the line was long and I was bored. I told her about our community up at Calvin Crest, the minnistry and how I was thinking about going into nursing next year... She told me, "nurses don't make much money." and I told her that if I did go into nursing, which is up in the air anyway, that I would want to go out of the country and help sick people who couldn't pay for a doctor. She seemed a little taken aback and then said, "Thats such a nice thing to do." she went on to talk about a woman she'd read about in some magazine that was in another country helping sick people and she said, "The people that help are so deserving!" (in which I thought 'no.. they're just being Jesus and doing what Jesus has called them to... if you told one of those missionaries that they were deserving they'd probably laugh at you and tell you that its the people they help that are the deserving ones.') "I wish I could help people." she said ('So, why doesn't she get out there and help?' I thought) and just after that she checked out... Isn't it odd that everyone says, "Oh yes, someone should go help those poor, sad, sick people... but not me, I'm too busy and my money is too valuable. But if someone else goes, that's very nice." I will never understand people... I don't think I ever will. Jesus, give her a heart for You...

There really is so much possibility in life! I people were not so blind to it...stuck in a world they do not wish to live in. I hope that I will always be able to change my plans. Had I not gotten hired on summer staff this summer... I would never have done Common Fire and I would be at UNR doing God only knows what! I hope that I will always be ready to make a change and take a new, unexplored path! I pray that I am always called to make such decisions and live in an adventure! I desire new paths and new options! If the world is truely full of so many opportunities, I hope that when faced with such decisions I won't always take the comfortable path because sometimes it is well to live life on the edge and try new things. I want to take new paths and explore new places and meet new people! I want to create my own world that stands alone.. that is not an in-between land, but a place of my own...

Greetings, my dear loyal reader!

This mornign I woke up.. once more at 7:30... and at 9:30, I met Tammi at the Pancake house for breakfast. We shared more stories and talked about meeting for breakfast again tomorrow as well. Then we went our own ways as we each had some seperate Christmas shopping to do. So I headed to a near by Joann's (a craft store chain)... where I looked for yarn.. preferable an orange or brown... something soft..(for Briche's scarf I'll be making him) but their selction was minimum and I decided that it was best to let him decide on the yarn so that he'll enjoy his scarf more when its completed... so instead, I splurged and bought to skeens of yaen.. and rose and dark mint green.. I'm crocheting them together so the scarf is thicker and the colors blend nicely. I don't know who I'm making it for but it a fun project to do when bored.. something to do with your hands.. I like having work for my hands to do.

After my yarn splurge, I called up Javier.. actualyl I woke him up as we were planning to visit my Mom and her co-workers (his summer co-workers) So, I drove over to his house, picked him up.. we had to drive to my house so I could pick up my checks and deposite them. Then we drove to the back, deposited my checks, then went next door to Sonic.. we we enjoyed a leasiurely snack and then headed over to Nevada Power to see my Mom and friends. We visited there a while then i took him to do some real Christmas shopping for my cousin. and shortly after returned him home and headed home myself. After relaxing a short time at home Javier and his Mom came over for dinner. That was fun, his Mom always makes me laugh. She's super cute.

After they left I came on the computer.. you know, check email.. do a little blogging... and I ended up talking to Dougy, Jeremy and Andrea. What two very different worlds I live in. A mountain of trees snow and deep fellowship to a city of cars a tall buildings and strangers. I hadn't realized just what a bond we had created on Common Fire. While there I always think there is so much more to learn about everyone (which is true) because at times I don't feel like I know them at all... but once home I saw that we have this amazing bond... whether because we listen to eachother, work together or just live together all the time I know these people far better than I know almost anyone else! Two such different worlds filled with such different people. My goal is to be the same person in both worlds (preferably the person of Common Fire as I like her much better). I believe I am doing well at keeping my thoughts pure and those I talk to acountable to their words here... something I deffinately did not do the last time I visted home. It makes being here much more enjoyable... but I know I miss everyone when I see Jeremy's jeep driving down the road, Briches driving the car behind me, Juana looking out a window and Janice walking Rusty down the street.

Maybe I'm crazy... but maybe, just maybe I really have learned to love people without hesitation.

Hello, Reader!

Church was fun today. The message was much the same as one given at Sierra Vista the other week... about miracles, expecting miracles and being prepared for miracles and being ready to be a miracle to someone else. Although I'm not a fan of the "this is the season of miracles" phrase because I believe that miracles are happening around us all the time and most of the time we're just blind to them until hind sight shows us God's hand in our life.

Here's just one miracle I saw today. New faces! Faces I had never seen before in our youth group, new faces in the church! New faces in the social hall and in the pew beside me... It was so very exciting! I heard one of the longer-termed youth complain about there being too many people in Fort Knox (the youth house) and I quickly turned to them and told them I thought it was wonderful so full of young people! I pray that the youth group soon becomes too large for the building and session is forced to give the youth a bigger area!!

After church, I headed home, ate a little lunch with my parenst and took a nap. Then my family opened the "santa presents" as my Dad leaves for work tomorrow and won't be back until we have to leave for Califorina in a few days... don't worry, friends! I will still be opening more Christmas presents along with the rest of the world on Christmas day.

Then my Mom and I went back to church to see the UNLV Children's Choral preform. They were good, considering they were between 3rd and 10th grade and we're doing pieces that many Highschool choirs can not do. It makes me wish I would have joined last year when offered a position, though I did not have the time then. I do miss singing in choirs. Throughout highschool, I was never in less than 3 choirs and sometimes even exceeding up to 6 choirs total. I do miss singing... that is one thing I look forward to going back to college, a choir.

After the concert I went to Tammi's house and we hung out until about 11:15... I like Tammi. I have missed her very much! We have such stories to share and questions to ask each other. I love her continuous support and love. We're meeting tomorrow for brunch as we still have a ton more to talk about!

I realize that I am not quite as distraught as I was the last time I was home. I have not cried myself to sleep and I have, thus far -- and hopefully will continue with Christ's strength -- to be the new person God has made me while being on Common Fire. I pray for peace and happiness to all my dear friends. I love you and miss you very much.

My flight out of Sacramento on Friday was virtually non-eventful. Which is all good, as far as I can figure things. Andrew and I had a fun car ride up though.. He's a sweet heart (though don't tell him so or he'll start acting all shy.. hehe!) Andrew drove me through "Stakton" and showed me all the sights from the freeway going 80 miles and hour. Then he even stayed with me in the airport until half an hour before boarding so that I wouldn't have to be alone for very long at the gate. Aww, Simpatico! :)

May I just say that airports stress me out? I think they started to stress out Andrew, too. So many people... all looking confused and lost, but at the same time knowing exactly where their destination lies... all with places to be... most in a hurry... some looking impatient.. some looking nervous... Security check made everyone take off their shoes. It made me sad that the man of hispanic decent, in fornt of me, had a whole body search done and the little beeper never went off or anything... but I just walked though. Sweet looking, middle class white girl wouldn't be doing anything or carrying anything... but a hispanic business man might be doing some "dirty work." Oh people...

Javier picked me up from the airport in Las Vegas... and I also saw Brian Miller! He was waiting at the same baggage claim as I was... I found that amusing. Javier and I then went to Chillies since neither of us had eaten since Thursday (well... there were those 2 tiny bags of peanuts on the airplane...) Then he came over and we played with my parents and he went home a little later.. then I went to bed. :)

I woke up this morning at 7:30... hard ot break the last 2 week's habits. I wrapped my parent's Christmas presents, watched the Santa Clause 2 with my parents.. ate waffles... then opened all the presents under the tree... Santa hasn't come yet, so we still have presents. My family never opens presents or celebrates anything on the right day. Some years we wait a week late to open presents some years we open them a day or week early... it really depends on my Dad's schedule. This year he'll get home on the 25, but then we're going to "So. Cal." to visit my familia! Yay! We could open presents when he gets home but then we "wouldn't get to play with them" before the drive there.

This afternoon, after a zillion people called me all asking to do something with me tonight, Javier came over again. We watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, then went out to dinner (Baja Fresh) then went to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, then to eat dessert (Apple Bees) and celebrate 3 years of friendship! It was a fun night!

Anyway, I still have more people to see and visit in the next few days... Unfortunately, my next two days are planned out for me already. I have yet to see my Tammi... or Shaun, who's at home from the Marines! Beyond seeing those two a few times, I just want to relax. The last time I was home, for Thanksgiving, I didn't get any rest and I went back to Common Fire more tired than I left. I do not want to do that again. I want to spend more time with my family and less time running around the twon until odd hours of the night... plus, I'm not a fan of driving here.

Here's a joke to end off this lengthy post... are you ready? (hehehe..) So, a guy walks into a bar with a Giraffe. They both drink and the Giraffe gets a little tipsy. They stand up to leave the bar and the Giraffe passes out but the man keep walking toward the door. The bar tender calles to him, "Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "That's not a lion, its a giraffe!"

I spent the morning by the picture window reading The Prince and the Pauper, by Mark Twain. I've always wanted to read it... and I found it a few weeks ago on one of the shelves in the music room. I stoped for about 45 minutes to talk to Leslie Mitchell, said goodbye to Jancie and Rusty and took a shower. Then I did some more laundry, made myself some lunch (Macaroni and cheese) and was just finishing another chapter of the book, which makes me about half way through the book...when I heard, "Stephanie!" I turned and there was Brian! He'd left earlier that morning, about 7:30, for his flight to Spokane. Apparently, his flight had been canceled. Poor Briches... I know he so wanted to go home... but now I get to be a little selfish and I have him here for another night! So, we watched Forrest Gump and then went for a little walk in the muddy snow and I played with Tucker. I didn't get as much accomplished as I would have liked to today... I still haven't packed yet. Tonight, Andrew's going to put some fish outside the houses to try and attract the bear (Arnold) that's been hanging around so we can watch it tonight... Its a fun idea.. who knows if it'll happen... but Arnold has deffinately been hanging around this area a lot lately. In a little while, Deb is going to take Andrew, Briches and myself to the mountain House Grill for dinner. That should be very fun! But I should go get some packing done before people come home and I want to be social again... and deffinately before dinner so I'm not super tired tomorrow. Anyway, that's all for now... Peace, friends!

Well, its odd being one of the only ones left on the Mountain. What do I do with myself? I could write emails, start some Christmas cards... go out and play in the snow... however that losses much of its magic when you're the only one rolling around in the snow. I could eat.. I'm good at that. I could read, there are plenty of books here on the shelves I'd love to read! I could watcha movie.. we have a ton of movies I've never seen. Maybe I'll save a movie for tonight after its dark. Its not even 9 am yet. I could fill out my summer staff application, or my application to Reno for next year.. but I'd rather do that when I'm home. There's too much to do up here to just sit at the computer all day... but at the same time, there's nothing to do.. For sure, I'll take a shower. Its been what? um.. 6 days now since I've showered.. gross! In all honesty, I wish people were still here. The two people 'm closest to have left... theose two people who I can share my heart with... who I can be perfectly honest with even when I know it'll hurt me or them and I know that they'll be honest right back. I have some laundry to finish before I start packing too. I think I've gotten the majority of my Christmas present shopping done now... There are a few more things I'd like to go pick up at the kitchen before I leave. (some homemade jams and syrups). I think the only people left on my list are Sarah and my cousin Kristy. But with Sarah, I already have half of her present. Christmas is too commercial. It's true. How much do you think I've grown since the last time I was home? Hopefully enough to realize that I wasn't happy with myself in the outcome and I'd like to be happy with myself this time on my return. Hmm... I think 'll go write some Christmas cards and then later come back and write a few emails...

Isn't it nice to know you're loved? Even just by one person. If one person in the whole world loved you, you could be perfectly content with life. If one person cared enough about you to stand up for you to other people and at the same time tell you exactly what he thought about you and about the situation you placed yourself in.... If one person cared that much would you notice? Would you notice if they'd loved you an entire year and never said a word? Would you notice if they thought about you so often that they couldn't be with another girl without thinking about you in the process? Would you noticed that they loved you? Would you notice or would you live life in world of clouds and dreams where star-light confused your vision? Would you live in ignorance or would you see? Would you notice how loved you are with all the signs around you? With all the blessings God has given you, with all the firendships and relationships you've been given, would you notice that one single person adored you? Would you noticed that one single person admired you? Would you noticed that that one single person cherished you? Would you notice that you were loved?

I didn't.

Yesterday, Briches and I went to Fresno! Yay! We did some Christmas shopping and ate carmeled apples (yum!!) then we came back to the Ranch House, watched a strange movie (Seven) and ate potstickers. Then a bunch of us played Nertz... durring the card game, we suddenly heard scary noises coming from outside. I looked up asking what the scary noises were and was told that it was Coyotes. They were just right outside having a party and making creepy noises... some sounded like howling and others sounded like people screaming... So Jancie, being a silly girl that she is, decided it'd be cool to go out on the back porch and try to see the wild dogs. I tried to baracade the door with my body to keep anyone from going out... I pushed a few people from harms way.. but the weird people went outside anyway.. but no one was eaten, so life is good! Then about 12:25 in the morning I heard the coyotes again and I sat up trying to see them from the window.. I didn't see anything but Andrea says that she saw shapes and things.

This morning Janice, Andrea, Briches, Phillip and I worked in the store doing inventory... we got off work early and played in the snow... followed some bear tracks... followed soem coyote tracks... I went over to Deb Roope's house and talked to her for a while... its been fun! Tonight (very soon) we're going to go to eat dinner.. yay Chinese food! Then we're going to watch movies... Maybe have a Lord of the Rings marathon or White Christmas....

"I'll be home for Christmas... you can count on me... please have warmth and mistletoe and presents in the closets! Christmas Eve will find me, whether not I'm there... I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams!" See you soon, Las Vegas!!

Well, the dinner is over. ::Long long sigh of relief:: It was a beautiful meal... with beautiful decorations.. fun people... music, singing, testimonies (by Jancie and myself)... did I mention amazing food? Oh my gosh! If I could tell you all the food we had... well first of all I would be impressed with myself that I remembered it all and second that you wopuld only wish that you had been here... or could even be here now and eat the left overs with us! YAY left-overs yay! I haven't been excited about left-overs in a long long time.. but this... this is amazing! Only 6 of my 12 wreaths sold at the dinner though.. and none of the Common Fire paintings, so I gave one to Hillary because she liked it and the other ones I'll be bringing home on the 19th. Common Fire finally has a Christmas tree... YAY! It snowed another few inches last night.... and this morning at breakfast Jeremy, Phillip, Andrea, Janice and I made a snowman who was taller than Jeremy! It took a long while to get the second ball up in place.. the thing weighed about 400 pounds! It was crazy! But it has a towel for a scarf... manzanita branches for arms... a carrot for a nose, floppy celery for a mouth... red potatoes for buttons and blue french Vanilla creamer packets for eyes... and on its head is a hat that says, "I'm the Boss." so we named it Bryan Cosby.

12 wreaths and 5 plant arrangements later, I am waiting around the Ranch House for 4:30 to roll around. Its so much fun to have everyone here from summer staff! (well, not everyone, but a whole lot of people) I spent the morning making one last wreath and 2 more branch arrangements, then hanging all my wreaths on a board for selling. After lunch, I came back to the Ranch house, grabed my 4 paintings for the auction, plus four of Andrea's paintings and brought them back over to the dinning hall for setting up. Then I walked back over to the Ranch House, and Laura Cosby and I moved a mattress from the Yellow room in the Ranch House to Phillip's room in the Barn. Now I'm here!

Last night was super fun! When we got back from dinner, Dougy, Deeana and Josh H. were here! So a TON of us (17 of us!!) all played four on a couch... Such a silly stressful game! Unfortuantely, I lsot the game for the girls... sorry girls. Then I stayed up later with ougy, Josh, Andrea and Juana! We talked and then the boys decided to leave.... unfortunately, their car was now stuck in the snow/mud slush in fornt of our house. so after trying for a while to free their car they came in and we set them up with sleeping bags and blankets for the couches in the first floor of the Ranch House.

Well, that's it.. I migth take a nap... or read a book... or knitt.... or do something with myself before 4:30... Later!

Oh my! Its been almost a week since I've written anything. My poor readers, you must be wondering what on earth has happened to your little Steph Garver! Was she eaten by a bear? Dead of frost bite? mauled by a mountain lion? Lost in the forest durring a blizzard? No no no... but I came very clsoe to all those things, I assure you! :) Good thing you happy people are all at home praying for my safety up here! Thanks, just thought I'd let you know that your prayers are working!

On Saturday night most of Common Fire went ice skating in Fresno! That was fun... and Eric Sunderland (Hey Eric!) And Kari Maddox (Hi KARI MADDOX!!!) came with us.. because they live in Fresno. Then I spent the night at Kari's house and had wonderful talks and watched happy musicals and picked fruit (oranges and percimmons) we had fun fun fun! Then on Sunday afternoon, Eric drove me home. I like Eric, he's a sweet boy. Yep! Then I was picked up in Fresno by, Cameron, Mas Chip and Flan. The four of us went olut to dinner and then bought Christmas lights for the Ranch House. We didn't go to Church on unday but stay home in the dark and decorated the house with happy lights.

Monday we started work again... busy bees we were preparing for the Christmas dinner this Saturday. On Monday, I worked with Juana... its so different and fun getting to work with someone and always having somone around to talk to. Its happy! We ended the work day in the maintenance shop pulling leaves off of manzanita trees. Strange, huh? Then that night we watch Pirates of the Carribbean.. good movie. I recomend it to all above the age of 16.

Tuesday was our day off and Jeremy, Phillip, Andrea and I drove up to Yosemite and went iceskating on the outside rink... so exciting! I had always wanted to iceskate outside. Its such a romantic idea an outside rink. Just iceskating in general is a romantic idea... a good date with someone you like... a very good excuse for hand holding... None of which went on, you crazy people! But I fell a lot and have tons of bruises on my knees. That night it snowed about 3 inches, it was happy!

Wednesday, we worked again. I sat in the maintainance shop all day by the fire.. from 8:30am - 4:20 pm picking leaves off the manzanita bushes by myself. yea... um.. great fun. for dinner, Andrew, Jeremy, Andrea, Phillip, Juana and I went to Pete's place and ate Gyros and then went shopping for our secret Santas... hehe!It snowed a ton more, too! We now have approximately 6 inches of snow now! YAY! So, that night I satyed up until 3:44 talking to Phillip. It was good and bad and odd and all sorts of randomness.

Thursday, We continued with odd jobs for the dinner. I was told to make wreaths... apparently, I'm a professional. We're selling wreaths at the dinner, and so I made some wreaths from branches all day long. after work, for an hour, Jeremy, Phillip, Andrea and I went sledding down to sherwood... the sledding is fun.. the hiking back up sucks like no other. Then that night we had our Staff Christmas Party.. good food, good conversation, good presents, good times.... I went out in the hall way and cried. Yep. I did. And I didn;t just cry.. I cried with Jeremy... Pooor boy he seemed so very confused when I just broke down in tears. But all in all, I got some chocolate stars from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory from Juana. (Yay Juana!) Then the girls had prayer night at the Capps. After that, I hung out with Briches until we were sleepy and we went to bed.

Today, I made wreathes all day! :) I think I'll makes wreaths for a living. happiness! Then Briches and built a snowman. Now a few of us are going to a mexican restraunt by Bass Lake! Later!

I bought my plane ticket home and back two days ago... but now my folks want me to change a date... I just think its silly.. so much extra driving they will want to do just for one date. It'll probably cost me money to change my flight, if I can even change it. That's my rant for the moment.

Yesterday, on account of a headache that made me dizzy, I didn't go to work until later in the day... and once at work I folded linens for 4 hours. Yay for the linen room! It rained all day yesterday.. and looks like it might all day today... its super warm outside though. Well, super warm meaning that only because of the rain are we wearing light jackets at all.

Lets see.. Jeremy's Lady friend, Carol, is visiting.. that's slightly akward on all parties that live up here. Last night was a strange night anyway. Everyone on Common Fire was off the mountain doing something or other. Some were in Fresno playing lazer tag with the jr highers, some were at a Pampered Chef party, the left over boys were all eating a man dinner... which ended up leaving Janice, Andrea, Jeremy and his date and myself up on the mountain. Jeremy and Carol took over the family room with a movie (welcome to community) which caused Andrea, Janice and I to be stuck upstairs, cold, playing 3 to 13 (a very amusing card game) for 3 and a half hours. Eric Sunderland called me last night... alright.. alright....he called us..... (Hi Eric!!!) and it was fun talking to him.. he and Kari Maddox are going to come visit us next Thursday and Friday! I love Kari Maddox like no other... (Hi Kari Maddox!!!)

And this morning? Well, I got up at 8 am.. took a shower for the first time in a week and now I'm ready to go eat waffles with all the girls at the Capp's home... waffles, some talky-talky and a little bit of good old prayer lovin'! Peace all!

I haven't posted in a few days.. sorry guys! I'm still alive though, don't worry. I've been keeping busy and having fun! Work has been interesting lately. We're doing a ton of projects... and every day I get to work with someone I don't usually get too... Janice, Briches, Anne.... Its so great having good disscussion while you work instead of working alone, like I usually do. Yesterday, Briches and had an amazing discussion.. good good times. Actually.. I'll start with Monday.

Monday night, I confronted and talked to two people on Common Fire. I had good one on one conversations that cleared the air a bit and thus far, have made things more pleasurable.

Tuesday night, Phillip, Briches, Andrea and I all hung out in Andrea's tiny akwardly shaped closet. We ended up staying in there much longer than expected and had a good time giggling and telling stories. Last night, Wdnesday, I went to the Taqueria with Briches, Andrea, Juana and Andrew. Then we went to the store.. fun times! Janice is feeling better, we were all worried about her as she blacked out for a moment and had a super high fever. "Sick sucks" says Janice. Then that night I stayed up until almost 1 am with Andrew, Phillip and Andrea talking about spiritual gifts. And speaking of... I've been getting amazing direction and being discipled by 4 of the women here on one of my gifts thats (hopefully) starting to reveal itself more clearly.

Tonight we got off work at 3 instead of four.. which was fine with me as we'd been shampooing the carpet in Cedar Lodge all day and I was tired of it and the fumes were getting to me. I was also starting to not feel well, plus yesterday when Briches and I were cleaning vents, dust got in my eye and has made it all red, like pink eye and it looks like I've been crying all day.. its actually rather funny when tears start coming out of my eye while I'm talking... hehe... so I took a nap, woke up, ate dinner with my Jancie, we watched a movie and I talked to my Tammi! And now I'm here about to buy a plane ticket home for Christmas.

So, I'm home now! Yay!! I missed everyone so very much. Life is good. People are good... except for those special few who didn't seem to have any growth over break. Some people I will never understand their thought processes. Straight up just can't undertsand why they are rude and unforgiving... but I suppose that's life, eh?

Jesus has really been laying on my heart confession... confession and forgivness, both for myself and for others. I just sat and confessed anything I could think of.. a thought, an action, a look. So relieving to just have it all gone, and know that Jesus' blood covers all your wrongs. Even when he was dying on the cross, he thought of me and of this very sin that is troubling me so and he still loves me and still died for me. Isn't that amazing? It just blows my mind! So, anyway.. after confessing a ton of stuff, I felt better but still felt as though I was missing a step. The step that says I must now confess to those I have wronged that I have wronged them and that I'm sorry. This to me, is a much harder step. I'll be writting a lot of emails and doing a lot of talking.

Also... I'm possibly dealing with some spiritual warfare stuff... its stuff I've been dealing with for a few months if thats what it is... I'm going to also be talking to Karolina, Leslie and Laura about that in the next few days. When I figure out what it is, I'll let everyone know. Until then, life is good.. it's hailing outside (though not too cold at all) and I am here and perfectly happy, happy,happy!! :)

Peace Friends!