Making decisions

Whenever you face trials, you should seek wise counsel.

I support this statement. And on occasion I do not seek wise counsel... but I do know the wisest counselor is the Holy Spirit. And wise counsel should ultimately direct you toward Him. Every person I have talked to about my newest "issue" has directed me, in some way, toward Him.

Yesterday I talked to Flan... today I talked to my wisest human counsel (my mommy) then I talked with Sydney and finally to Jamie. Basically, everyone gave the same advice. And honestly, this is one of the widest groups of people I could consult about this "issue."

"What is yout 'issue,' Steph Garver?!" you ask. My issue is overcommitment.

I've lost joy in things by over doing them. I really should not feel responsible toward certain people the way I do. Baisically, the ultimate praise toward God is doing things that glorify Him. Things that my heart finds joy in; by me doing things out of service toward Him and not out of obligation. I do need to prayfully consider the things I have been doing. Do I find joy here? Do I find satisfaction here? Am I content? And is this really where my heart is?

I have a heart for the unsaved, but I do not care too much for evangelism. I encourage people when it comes naturally, not when it is required of me. I love to teach, but only when people are seeking and asking it of me, individually. I love to pray when I am Spirit-led. I love to hang out with people when I feel like it.

I always love to spend time alone with Jesus, but I haven't been able to because I have been doing things I don't like doing nearly as much.

I am thinking hard about going home over Spring Break and not going on the mission trip to LA. That's not where my heart is. I would be very very good for me to be home. For me to be able to find time to breathe... my parents won't be home for some of my Spring Break, but me being home alone would be good... not only for myself and for my soul, but also (random, I know) because my kitties would be taken care of for the week. I can still get back all my money from the LA trip.

Perhaps it seems selfish. "I just need to be alone." But I would get to hang out with Tammi -- my best friend -- who I haven't really hung out with in over a year if I went home for break. I don't know, some stuff to really pray over. But stuff I need to make decisions on very soon. Because when I do things my heart is not in -- which is not glorifying to God -- the ministries I do love and would very much enjoy throwing myself into end up suffering.