To look without seeing

Do you ever wonder if anyone notices you? I mean, obviously, people notice that someone is sitting next to them in class or they might happen to notice someone standing in line with them... but do people really notice you? In one of my English classes today, my professor immediately claimed to have an excellent memory when it comes to students names... and so she did, all the students went around the class and said their names and then something about themselves... everyone went around once and then she said their names back to the class... it was impressive... only she couldn't ever remember mine. Not only did she not remember mine (three times,) no one in the class remembered... not that this is a huge deal... but it is sad. Am I just not a memorable person? I recently met this guy from my high school... he's a nice guy, sits next to me in Psychology. Before class even started we had talked and seen pictures of eachother... and I knew I had never met him and he thought he'd never met me, but once in class he said, "I think I have seen you before." Maybe I'm just not photogenic... who knows... I don't know why this bothers me... but I often get that unfortunate feeling while sitting in class, "all these people don't care who I am, they don't even want to know and they are all missing out." But honestly, that thought is interchangable... the same could go for every person in my class that I don't talk to... Maybe I just don't really care about who they are, some of them, to be honest frighten me already.. but I get that same feeling of "missing out" when I think of them sitting in the chair next to me as well... I don't know, I wonder how many times during a day to I look at someone but never truely acknowledge them. How often do I miss out on meeting a new best friend? I know I'm a person who blends in. Inside, I know I am not the same and I do not belong in the world, thus I should be one of those people that stick out like a sore thumb.. a misfit, an outcast... I'd rather be a misfit than be someone who dissapears into the background. I'd rather be someone that people think something about instead of always just being a side, or after thought. I've never been one of those people that are the first invited to parties... or the first thought of when people are lonely or bored and need someone to talk to or hang out with. Perhaps I make myself seem unavailable... if that's the case it's not the truth. Once my friend, Matthew claimed that he would have remembered me... but I'm not exceptionally brilliant or celver or outgoing (at least not until I'm comfortable) I'm not one of "those popular people" I never have been and I won't claim to be because frankly I don't want to be one of those. I know that by the world's standards I am plain, I am simple... I'm just another girl in the classroom... But thank God that I know that that is not who I really am.